As I spent much needed time with my niece and nephew over some vacation days, my always wonderful sister in law took some candid pics. I hadn't noticed them until they were posted, and I realized I didn't even recognize the person in the picture. The woman giggling with her niece, a beyond big smile on her face and practically glowing to hear about how she colored the mermaid pink because it was her favorite color.
I began to well up. This was not the person who I thought I was over the past year. I pictured myself as sad, broken, unable to be around children person, whose soul had turned grey. I couldn't believe that I appeared this way to others and that without knowing there was still this hope and love inside me that could shine without my knowledge.
I felt that I couldn't recognize myself, but this picture gave me hope that maybe I could again one day. I could match what my body was saying, with what my mind could think. It's the smallest boost that I can keep taking those every day steps to make the best out of this entire infertile journey.
Why write something about myself when I can give testimonials!